Proper skincare should be one of the things mothers and daughters and even grandmothers should take time to talk about. The wisdom of cross-generational experiences, concerns, and observations can often be very helpful. The key is to listen to each other, share experiences, talk about concerns in an encouraging and supportive way, and offer observations only if asked.
With those ground rules, let the conversation about skincare begin. You can start with these questions but feel free to add or ignore as you see fit. I’m including some answers we got from mothers and daughters on an informal survey we conducted.
The only advice I got from my mom about skincare was […fill in the blank]. But times have changed and I think we can do better than that.
Our survey showed that older moms received very little advice from their moms except an occasional warning to stay out of the sun. One mom said: “I have no memory of skin care advice from my mom other than beware of too much sun because it makes your skin leathery.”
There are some things I feel are important for ust to share about skin care. Can we talk now?
Some of the things moms and daughters shared included information about hereditary traits, proper cleansing, moisturizing, skin problems, protecting skin from sun damage, healthy eating and exercise. Also, how skin changes as one ages. One mom shared this about aging with her daughter: “I am open to more anti-aging, natural products as I age. And certainly I use more sunscreen!”
One mom said: “I’ve talked with her about the importance of proper skincare. I’ve gotten her facials and helped her get higher quality skin care since she was around 12.”
About proper cleansing one mom wrote: “My daughter doesn’t always remove her makeup at night and we definitely go head to head about that one.”
A daughter wrote saying: “I wish my mom would consider using natural organic skincare rather than the chemical based products she uses.”
What do you credit for your complexion?
This is a good question because it lets you know how each other thinks about your skin and your approach to healthy skin. Do you owe it to something fixed like heredity or current age? Or do you attribute it to skincare products, stress, healthy eating or other lifestyle choices?
How do you define beauty?
Listen to hear if she defines beauty beyond physical characteristics. If not, share with her your definition of beauty that includes deeper values.
One mom from the survey said: “Beauty is the aura that comes from living true to who you are.” Another said: “Self-assured grace that emits from the inside out.”
Do you disagree with anything I’ve brought up? Is there anthing you think I should know about?
Be ready to listen, because moms and daughters may have a lot to say to each other. Here is a memory one mom shared:
“My mom did something wonderful for me. She bought me a makeup lesson and facial when I was 13. She thought I was a little heavy handed on the blue eye shadow. I learned about skincare and how to apply makeup so I didn’t look like a hooker!”
Skincare can be a topic that brings moms and daughters together in a special way. This mom used it as a bridge for bonding.
“My daughter and I have gotten massages and facials together. It’s a bonding moment that we share a couple of times a year. Somewhat so that she takes care of her skin, but mostly so that she knows how important it is to manage self care and treat herself like a queen sometimes, even if no one else does. We all deserve some pampering.”